• Its all coming out.

    by  • January 5, 2011 • Eff Off - You - or Up, Frustration, Grief, Letting Go, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    Dear ____,http://lettersillneversend.com/wp-admin/edit.php?post_type=post

    I hope you know you broke my heart. From the first time you came around, there was something there. I remember just talking about out lives and feeling sure that this would turn into something great. That turned out to be the opposite of everything that actually happened. Don’ t you think that you should have kept your jaded tendencies to yourself instead of covering up your emotions with excuses? You didn’ t take any of my feelings into consideration at all. Nobody would love you like I would. I appreciate everything about you, the stupid tiny things that all add up to one giant ball of awesomeness. We mesh. I laugh more with you than with anyone. After you disappeared, I went crazy. I didnt know what to do with myself. Four nights out of the week had always been dedicated to you and what should I fill them with now? Nobody truly knows what happened and the pain that radiated through my heart and still does. Why would you come back then and say let’s start things over…I would have done it differently? Because it’s a year later and it’s still not different…it’s been almost three years…THREE F’ING YEARS that i’ve made you a priority. You’re an unattractive little guy that will never find anyone like me again. You talk about living together later on in life and I can’t help but join in on the dreaming and the tingles that shoot up my spine from overwhelming joy that maybe this will be the time that it works and it’s different. This will be the time that you realize that I am always here for you and that I would be perfectly happy just being with you. Why would you do that to me on New Year’s if you didn’t mean to continue things and then when I text you 2 days later you don’t respond…then text me about f’ing trampolines? FUCKKKK YOUUUU. Its like a 34839843287 slap in the face. Go hump some ugly whale at your college while I go off to college next year and have a blast. I need to let go of you to truly be happy with someone else and I can’t seem to do that. I have a hard time believing anything you say anymore and next week when I read the letter that you wrote me I am going to sob, I know it. It will happen. And nobody will understand quite why because all you wanted to do was keep us under wraps. Go smoke your weed and lose yourself. Weed and your dumbass friends will never treat you like I will. It pisses me off that I can’t just say this to you because I LOVE YOU and I can’t bear it…hell I can’t even delete our texting convos off my Iphone. I can’t erase you as much as i’d like to.

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