• i regret saying yes

    by  • December 1, 2010 • Betrayal, Friends, Grief, Heartbreak, Letting Go, Regret, Trust • 0 Comments

    I regret saying yes. I regret saying yes four times. I regret that I let you do this to me again. I regret not being able to move on and getting myself involved with you again. I gave up on you a long time ago, and then you pulled me in again. How is this fair to me? You have a great relationship with my best friend, your girlfriend, and now you have me on the side, and I have nothing. This sucks. Why can’t I stop myself from getting involved in these situations? I regret that I trusted myself to think this was going to be ok. I regret not stopping myself. I regret letting you make me so cold to people, and not even thinking what I did was wrong. How can I do this to my best friend? What kind of relationships will I ever be able to have? I cannot trust anyone and I regret getting myself involved with this. I don’t know how I managed to become someone with no feelings, but I have.

    I hate you for this. I hate that you were able to make me love you again, and now I am alone. Now I can’t think of any one but you. I need a relationship with someone else. I need to be able to move on. It took me a year and someone else to show me I could form friendships, and that I was a worthwhile person. Now, I am not so sure anymore. I can’t trust myself. I have no idea what I am capable of, if I am capable of this again. This was too easy for me. I want this to be over. I never want to think of you again.

    How do I get over you?

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