Archive for November 29th, 2010

Joe

I’m sorry, I can’t say it enough and I know you’ll never want to talk to me again but I miss you. I miss having you in my life as a friend. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you, that we were just slightly too different for it to work out between us. In a way, I will always love you and I hope someday you will forgive me for what I did. I know you moved back here and in this small town I’m surprised we have yet to run into each other but maybe that is for the best. So please, my dear, come back into my life because you belong there in one way or another.

Forever yours,
~Miss Amazing~

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Friends, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Regret, Sorry

 

Leaving.

I’m leaving home, and I don’t know when I’ll be back, if ever… It’s a bittersweet feeling, I’m excited to start the rest of my life, but just like a young bird about to leave the nest, there’s that little hesitation, that tiny feeling of dread. But I know I’m going to make it, I don’t have a choice. I will. Failure is not an option. I will be strong and independent, and I will learn from my mistakes.

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Fear, Hope, Inspiration, Yearning

 

Biological Father

I’m not able to hate you. I know I should, you tore my mother away from the person she used to be, but I can’t. You overpowered her and made her feel like she didn’t matter in this world. I should hate you, but to hate you would mean hating the parts of you that are in me.

I would have to hate the eyes you gave me, the ones that most people compliment me on. I would hate my nose, and my personality. I’m bipolar, just like you. It’s easy to see the monster inside me that terrorized my mother nineteen years ago. It may have not been me, but I have that same rage about me.

I should hate you, but in some twisted way I can’t help but cling to you. You are me, and for that I love you.

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Family Stuff, Love - Pure and Simple, Parents, Thinking of you

 

To: guy in CA adventure working the World of Color yellow section

Hi,

I’m the girl who came running up at the beginning of the show to meet up with my sister and my mom’s friend.

I think you’re really cute.

And I don’t know if you’re even single. And you probably won’t ever see this anyway. But I was trying to talk to you. And just too unsure to ask for your number. But hey, here’s hoping you see this and don’t think it’s creepy. Lol.

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Fear, Interested?, Smitten, Thinking of you

 

Throw me a lifevest

I feel like I’m drowning.

Something is going to catch up with me. They will realize I haven’t been doing anything. I need a new coping strategy. My avoiding things to not dealing with them only makes them snowball into something worse.

I miss you. Somewhere in the last month we have lost something. Is it just me that thinks that? We used to have something great. Now we just talk about tv shows. Where is my best friend who I thought I would eventually end up with?

I feel like everyone has become annoyed with me. I haven’t changed. I am still optimistic on the outside. Still goofy and quirky. Why does it seem like I am someone to just put up with anymore?

WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY WANT ME KNOW ME?
WHY DOESN’T ANYTBODY CARE?

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Friends, Frustration, Grief, Help, Yearning

 

Maybe Always

R.R.–

I’m terrified. And I kind of think I always will be.

In a way, I don’t think I’ll ever fall back in love with you. Not because I can’t–not by any means. You’re my everything. Even after all of this, even past all of your complaining and your whining and hatred for my needing time to get over everything, even through how completely selfish you’re being…you’re my whole world.

But I don’t think I’ll ever get over this fear. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust you again. I can’t compete with most of the women you spend your days with. Them with their pretty faces and perky grins and cutesy attitudes. And what do I have? A set of ‘Almost there’ breasts, a lopsided, forced grin, and an fuse that’s about as short as me.
I know I’ll never measure up. I always kenw that. But I ignored it. It took a few months the first time around…but I figured ‘hey, we’ve gotten past 6 months. Flown past 7. Hell, we’re in our 8th. Why would he leave me now?’.

I don’t think I’ll really ever be able to love you again. And that’s so unfair to you that I’m honestly thinking about leaving. But I don’t know if I have the strength to take that risk. Because

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Fear, Letting Go, Love - Pure and Simple, Trust

 

Wishing

Over the course of this year I have been able to get to know you so well. I wish you would break up with your boyfriend already and let him know you’ve been with me. I wish we could be together and I was not hoping for something that will never happen. I have fallen completely in love with you and you’re in love with me (because you told me). I wish you would realize we are meant to be together.

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You

 

Change.

You know that I don’t like change. Well this school year has definitely been different. You left for college and I’m still in high school. I don’t like that you are in college and I’m not with you everyday. Maybe it’s a trust thing but I want to know what you are doing most of the time. I don’t like it that you like going to parties with alcohol and other girls. You always say I can come with you but I don’t want to ruin your fun. There is a part of me that really wants to go with you just to make sure that nothing happens but then again I don’t want to hold you back from anything. All I hope is that in college you don’t cheat on me. It worries me so much. I’m not really sure why but it really does. You know that I hate you going to parties but you still go. Not sure if you just don’t care or what but it worries me so fucking much.

I just want you to know that I worry a lot and I hope you are smart about stuff you do because I want to grow old with you

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: Cheating, Fear, Love - Pure and Simple

 

Dear life,

you are amazing.

Thank you for Joe, and Lyss and Kenny and Greg and Bud, and my parents, and Meggles Steve Steve and Ash, my pups and Charley

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Gratitude, Love - Pure and Simple, Short -n- Sweet

 

Take the leap

Ryan:

Please give this a chance. Just see what we could be.

I know you want to know just as bad as I do, so let it happen! Quit fighting it just because it’s new. We both can’t predict the future but I am ok with that. I want to take that chance with you.

I can’t figure out why but you seem so worth the risk to me. Everything about you is amazing.

I see this being a beautiful thing if only you would let it happen.

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No comments yet. Click here to comment. | Posted in: * Safe for Work *, Hope, Interested?, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You

 


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