• Don’t mind me, I’m pathetic.

    by  • October 11, 2010 • Depression, Friends, Grief, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    It’s me again. Yeah I know, obsessive and kind of creepy. I just can’t seem to get you out of my head. Even when I feel like I’m doing so well forgetting you pop up.
    And it sucks.
    I saw today, using the magic of facebook, that you found another girl.
    I’m happy for you.
    I think.
    Someone should be happy at least…

    I hate you.
    I lied. I only wish I could hate you.
    I wish I could not give a shit about you or anything you do.
    I wish I could forget you.
    I lied again
    Why would anyone ever want to forget the sweet memories that send knives through the heart?

    I truly wish I was doing as well as you seem to be.
    But here I am, stuck in this depression cycle. Don’t blame yourself, I was gonna wind up here with the catalyst of you leaving or not.
    It’s just not your problem anymore.
    I miss you.
    And I just feel so bad. And I feel bad for not having a reason for feeling bad. And worse when I remember all the reasons the world is broken and there is nothing I can do.
    Round and round the cycle goes, where it stops no one knows. Or maybe the doctors do. They tell me they know what will happen because I never take the medicine. But it’s not like there is a point to anything, I don’t even know why I’m writing this anyway, it’s not like you’ll read it, and if by chance you do in fact read it nothing good will come from it.
    All I want is a hug from you I’ll never get.
    I sound so pathetic right now. I’m sorry.
    I’ll just leave you alone now, like you obviously want, even though you told me we could be friends, told everyone it wouldn’t be a big deal.

    I still love you way more than I should,

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