• Listening to sad songs

    by  • October 7, 2010 • Anger, Betrayal, Eff Off - You - or Up, Goodbye, Heartbreak, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    B-

    They say that you can never stop loving someone. Either you never did or you always will.

    I love the you that I used to know. I always will. But the you that I see now? Give me a break.

    Everything is your fault. I’m not being biased. It’s true. I gave you so much and you took it and ran with it. I don’t want it back – I just wish you had taken better care of it.

    I wish we could have what we used to have. I know you do too. I look back on how things used to be and I wonder how we got here. It’s scary to think about how much has changed. And I was happier then. You took so much away from me, I hope you know that. But let’s not forget what you gave me: the inability to trust people, the fear of getting hurt, the hesitancy to put my heart out there because one time I did just that and thought everything was fine but look where it got me – now I’m all torn up and I can’t see any way out of this mess.

    Thanks.

    I wonder all the time if it’s possible to love without getting hurt. I thought with you I would never be hurt. I thought if I loved hard enough, love was going to come right back to me. You and I both know that things never go according to plan – you broke my heart and trashed my trust. What the fuck.

    I’ve lost track of the number of times you’ve made me cry. I can honestly say I hate you and I will never forgive you for what you did. I wish we could be friends and it kills me every day to cut you out of my life like this – but it’s better this way. I’ve moved on, at least in some sense, but the fact that you still have some effect on me proves that I need you to get out. Get out of my life, you asshole. I don’t need you. You hurt me worse than anyone has ever hurt me before. I trusted you with my life. Just, what the fuck.

    I wish I could pound your face in.

    I will never forgive, but I am trying to forget.
    -J.

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