do you think of me as often? as much as i hope you do..I’m pretty sure you don’t. i sit here in my own mental hell…wishing for just one more moment of escape. one more moment of passionate pain…agonizing arousal…forceful foreplay. my life as i know it has been rocked from it’s foundation. and although I’ve told you it wasn’t your fault…you did play a major part in it. i let myself disappear into your world. my misery desperately wanted your company. and here i sit now…ages later…still wanting you to hold my hand and guide me back into the world we ruled.
i want to have the power i once had. i want the confidence i once had. do you still want what we had? do you still wish for the darkness i gave you? do you still wish to have me put up a fight? do you still want me to bow to your every demand?
do you miss me as a friend at all? do you miss the laughter? the comfort? the silliness? the food? do you miss the endless conversations? the intellectual banter? the curiosity we had for each other?
will we ever cross paths again? will we ever be able to look at each other the same? i hope we can. i hope one day i can look at you and tell you all the things i wish i could say aloud. i miss my friend. i miss my lover. i miss the keeper of my darkest secrets. do you?