• I’m not sorry.

    by  • October 5, 2010 • Abuse, Heartbreak, Letting Go, Lost Love, Positive Vibes, Thinking of you • 0 Comments

    Dear D,

    I’m still great friends with both your sisters, your mother, your aunt, your grandmothers and grandfathers. I’m still friends with all of the friends I met through you. You ditched everyone to go to South Carolina, where soon enough they’ll see the real you.

    I’m not sorry I got the restraining order against you. I haven’t felt this safe in a long time.

    It’s funny, I thought everyone loved you. But a lot of people have told me since we broke up that they couldn’t stand you. You hurt a lot of people: your friends, your family, but especially me.

    Because of you, I am now jumpy and distrustful of everyone.
    Because of you, I am depressed.
    Because of you, I was in the hospital for a week.

    Because of you, I learned how strong I truly am.
    Because of you, I am closer with my friends and family.
    Because of you, I will do what it takes to help other women in the situation you put me in.

    I am now happily single. I am trying things I’ve never tried before. I got drunk for the first time (NOT going to do that again), I kissed a complete stranger, I had several dates. I’m blowing my money to visit New York and Boston. I’m staying out late with my friends and still managing to accomplish more with my art, my music and my studies than I ever accomplished around you. I finally feel like I’m 19 years old. The two and a half years we were together was a complete waste of my life.

    …But why can’t I let you go?

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