• A whole bunch of nothing

    by  • October 5, 2010 • Depression, Grief, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    dear Y,

    u know i try, i really do try to be the bigger better person, but i just can’t help it… i don’t wish you well because honestly i fucking hate ur guts to the core… i was doing so great for a while, i finally stopped caring bout you and i actually moved on with a really good (hot) guy… and even tho i knew i was partying way too much, drinking way over the limit and just having way too much fun, i was fine with being so destructive and careless.. that was until i realized that with the pain my will to live also went away… it’s a weird feeling, being unhappy but not seeing the point of being any other way… its kinda ironic now that i think about it: the one person who knew exactly what i’m going through is the last person on earth i’d ever want to talk to… because now he simply won’t get it, because he moved on to a different place where he’s happy… and also because he’s a major asshole.. so u might wonder why am i doing this then.. and the answer is simple: i want u to know that i’ll never forgive you for leaving me with nothing. when u came back into my life i was a mess, but u gave me hope and u gave me faith. and even though it was all a lie, it kept me going and i was so… happy. now i am nothing: it’s all i want, all i need and all i feel. Damn, i used to laugh at girls who thought like this…

    So anyways here it is, everything u didnt give me a chance to say.. i’d be lying if i said i wish u’d have a good life, but i know u will, so i’ll just hope u’ll get everything u truly deserve.

    With a whole bunch of nothing,
    Y

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