I often see letters on here that are to “J” and from “S” and I always think of you. But the gender is always wrong, or the situation isn’t right. I’m too afraid to let go what I feel for you fearing that there might be a chance someday. But is there? I want to move on. I do. If I have a chance to, I may. But… there’s still some hope in me, that shouldn’t be there. Maybe I just miss you. Part of me still wants you.
Maybe if I knew exactly what you felt, and how much of a chance I actually have, then I’d know whether or not I should hold on.
It’s always felt like almost love. Something like that. I couldn’t ever define it exactly. And I’m wrong, it hasn’t always felt like that. The past year or so it’s been that.
Did it mean something when we were kissing, and I opened my eyes, and yours were already open? I want to know. It means something when I do that.
I feel like the moment that happen we connected, and we were going to be connected regardless of whether we had sex, whether we never talked again. I think we kind of always have been. Or maybe I’m making this up. Either way, we always will be.
I shouldn’t think about these things at night, but it’s the only time when I can actually sit down and type about it.
I miss you. Maybe some day I’ll hear you say “I miss you too”.