• You loved him first.

    by  • September 30, 2010 • Confusion, Fear, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    Dear E,

    I love you.

    I love you more and more every single day that we spend together. No one in the entire world can make me feel as good as you do when we are happy. But no one can make me feel as pissed off, sad, depressed, annoyed, afraid as when we are bad. I’m hoping our bad days will decrease with time.

    No matter how much I want to get it our of my head, and just bury it forever, I can’t forget about him. I know you tell me you can forget about him and you do, but no matter how many times you say that, he always seems to pop up. Whether it be him texting or calling you, or you even dreaming about him.

    I just need to know that I’m number one. You tell me that I am and you wouldn’t have it any other way. We say “always and forever”… and when I asked you if you did with him, you said no…

    I read some of your old letters to him… They ended in “always and forever”

    It tears me up knowing you loved him first, and that he was your first. I think of our future children asking us about our “love lives” when we were younger. I asked my dad if he had sex before my mom, and it turns out they both did…. I’m just afraid of our kids asking me that question.

    I love you, and I always will, and you tell me the same… But you also told him the same.


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