It was because of you, that my anger built itself into such an ugly, uncontrollable force in my life. It was because of you, my confidence fell to the bottom of a trash bin. It was because of you, I held back my capability. It was because of you, that my world went from shining to pure darkness. And it was because of you, that I am forever damaged.
You ruined me.
I cannot erase some of the memories, although I have repressed some. You stole my innocence, you took away the best years of my life, when I should have been succeeding, growing, learning how to adapt to the world. Instead, I chose you.
You, repeatedly put me down, told me I was not good enough, went behind my back, physically hurt me constantly, and at one point raped me and abused me so badly I could have very well wound up dead, due to a head injury that could have been far worse.
And to this day, you take no responsibility. You tried apologizing a few times, but I never bought it. I can tell sincerity from wanting to make yourself look good to others. You lie about me, say I am crazy, making accusations, but in your cold heart, you know what you did. Should you ever feel remorse for it all, I will never know.
All I do know is that the wounds have healed, I am doing far better in my life without you, but the pain of the scars still remains, though mostly hidden, it remains.
I pray that one day you feel the full impact of the pain you caused me, and I hope that before your time on this earth comes to an end, you find a way to take responsibility and muster up an utterly sincere apology.
I find it hard not to hate you, but I try. I have moved on as much as I could have, and I can only hope to continue in life with as much positivity as possible, and I hope never to meet a cold soul such as yours ever again.
Your Damaged Ex