• I Am Forever Damaged

    by  • September 30, 2010 • Abuse, Grief, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Regret, Self-Esteem • 0 Comments

    It was because of you, that my anger built itself into such an ugly, uncontrollable force in my life. It was because of you, my confidence fell to the bottom of a trash bin. It was because of you, I held back my capability. It was because of you, that my world went from shining to pure darkness. And it was because of you, that I am forever damaged.

    You ruined me.

    I cannot erase some of the memories, although I have repressed some. You stole my innocence, you took away the best years of my life, when I should have been succeeding, growing, learning how to adapt to the world. Instead, I chose you.

    You, repeatedly put me down, told me I was not good enough, went behind my back, physically hurt me constantly, and at one point raped me and abused me so badly I could have very well wound up dead, due to a head injury that could have been far worse.

    And to this day, you take no responsibility. You tried apologizing a few times, but I never bought it. I can tell sincerity from wanting to make yourself look good to others. You lie about me, say I am crazy, making accusations, but in your cold heart, you know what you did. Should you ever feel remorse for it all, I will never know.

    All I do know is that the wounds have healed, I am doing far better in my life without you, but the pain of the scars still remains, though mostly hidden, it remains.

    I pray that one day you feel the full impact of the pain you caused me, and I hope that before your time on this earth comes to an end, you find a way to take responsibility and muster up an utterly sincere apology.

    I find it hard not to hate you, but I try. I have moved on as much as I could have, and I can only hope to continue in life with as much positivity as possible, and I hope never to meet a cold soul such as yours ever again.

    Your Damaged Ex

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