I’m writing you a letter I know you’ll never read. Sounds silly, huh? But in this letter I will tell you all of the things I can’t imagine to mention in person…or perhaps ever. For example, when you send me a quick text after we’ve hung out. They always make me smile and I love how you say goodnight. Perhaps you send similar texts to others but I like to imagine it’s something special just for me.
I love the way we connect. Even if it’s nothing more than good friends we always seem to be on the same page and I know you “get” me. I’d like to think I do a pretty good job at “getting” you too. I especially like it when you say we are “yin and yang”. It’s even more flattering when you say it in front of other people. And when you say you’re my best friend or I’m yours. It’s true. But it’s so much more than that. Sometimes one of us just has to say one word or phrase and we both know what the other was talking about, even if everyone else is clueless. And a lot of times we can communicate clearly just with a look…or my favorite, a smile.
Speaking of smiles, you seem to think it’s something I never stop doing. That’s sweet and I admit I’m a very smiley person. But you probably don’t know that you are the reason for most of those smiles. I just can’t help it when I’m around you.
You make me want to be a better person. But you also make me feel good about who I am already. I’m not afraid to be myself around you and nothing feels better than knowing someone accepts you exactly the way you are. I thank you for that.
I know we joke around about making the perfect team and together we make a “whole”. And not to sound creepy or anything but I believe that’s very true. The weaknesses I see in me are echoed in your strengths. I know that I can 100% completely rely on you. I don’t think it’s possible for you to let me down or disappoint me.
I’m sure psychologists would have a lot to say about this but I see you in everything. Haha, that sounded creepy. I don’t mean like that. I mean like randomly something will jump out at me; a line from a song, a name, just something that my brain automatically connects with you. And I don’t know if these things are legitimately reminding me of you all day every day or if it’s just subconscious. If I was thinking about you anyway and my brain then made random connections to justify it. So I don’t know if you remind me of my favorite song or if my favorite song reminds me of you. Either way, I can’t seem to ever “get away” from you. And I’m ok with that.
I am behind you 110%. I will support you and back you up no matter what. Even if I disagree as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others I respect you so much that I will be there for you. I just want you to be happy. It kills me when you’re sad and I don’t know what to do about it or how to help. It would literally break my heart to see you cry. I hope you know you can rely on me to be there for you anytime.
I hope that one day I’ll be able to share with and show you how much you mean to me. You’ve changed my life and are one of the people I will never forget, even if we grow apart. I wish I could encourage you by openly sharing these things with you right now, but my own insecurities won’t let me. I think you know deep down how much I care for you. It’s different and at the same time more than a friendship affection.
I don’t know quite how to explain it but I care for you so much as a friend and person that if nothing ever becomes of this and I one day delete this letter without you ever seeing it, as long as you are happy I will be happy. At the same time I care for you as so much more than just a friend.
I love you. In every possible meaning of the phrase, I love you.