• Why do i miss you so much…

    by  • September 28, 2010 • Grief, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Regret, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    Its C.S.L again.
    and I again am talking about Jossie M.

    I don’t know why I miss you
    you lied, cheated, hurt me over and over
    and i forgave you over and over
    tho I must say I was not a saint either
    but again that was the old me in the two years and a half we dated it only took ill our first official break up this year

    i hate my self for not keeping mind what day it was but either way when i realized after that how much I bloody loved you I was afraid you were gonna be gone for ever and I cried harder than I think I cried in so long I was afraid

    I remember cutting and just wanting to die

    You wouldn’t talk to me for so long and when you did talk to me we talked and talked and talk, and then we started dating again. We dated for hardly a week and I ruined it again and after that we dated off and on off and on.

    And then S. came in and that’s what I really think that nail in the coffin.

    After all crap happened and such we dated for about 3 or 4 weeks and it was a Saturday and we were talking and and you told me that you liked my ex best friend Mike. With that and all the damn stress I had gotten over that week end and I blew up and was mad and such and I was pissed off at you. But I wasn’t pissed at you, I was pissed at myself because I wanted to show you I loved and I really thought you were the one.

    and I failed you and I think after that is when I went in to my depression.
    I miss you Jossie. And love you.

    And all I can say is why I miss you is because I wish I could be the one who makes you happy and I wish I was the one who was telling I love you and seeing how I’m not I hope and wish Mike makes you happy. And I’m trying not to cry while writing this. It’s hard because we had a fight yesterday (9-27-10) and I cried all night knowing more bad days are ahead. I hope you have happy life form here on out Jossie. I love You.

    And I hope Mike stays the man he appears to be because Jossie, he’s not who you think he is. I should know.

    I talked to an ex of his and it made me hate him even more. So I hope he stays the man of your damn dreams because I know he doesn’t love you like he says he does.

    Bye, I love you.

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