• Letter To God

    by  • September 27, 2010 • * Safe for Work *, Depression, God, Hope, Loneliness • 0 Comments

    God,

    We’ve been distant. Let me fill you in.

    I smile. I act composed and happy every single day. I have everything and more, I have every reason to be happy.

    But… Truth is, I’m falling apart on the inside. I want to scream and cry until I physically can’t anymore. I want to run away and escape everything I know.

    I’m carrying this heavy weight, and it feels like with each day, a little piece of me breaks off and is gone. I’m losing myself and there’s nothing I can do to hold on to her.

    I can’t recall the last time a smile of mine was genuine. I can’t recall the last time I spoke the truth when someone asked “how are you?”. I can’t recall the last time I felt hope. What a terrible thing to lose, hope.

    I’m trying to look forward to the future, but honestly I can’t. I can’t look past this pain and this weight on my chest. I can’t breathe. Nothing is okay. I’m so blessed, so why am I feeling like this? Why do I come home each day and cry myself to sleep dreading the next? Why do I feel so alone?

    God, if you are listening. I need you. I really really need you.

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