I don’t know why I did this. All I ever wanted was you, beside me, forever.
So why did I shove you away? I keep telling myself there was a reason – that I didn’t just do this out of insanity. But when you miss someone as much as I miss you, it’s impossible to remember the bad. You’re too focused on clinging on to the good.
So I can only hope that one day, I’ll be in your arms again. I still can’t let anyone make me as happy as you made me. I can’t stand it when anyone else touches me, or tries to help me. So I’m trying to pretend. But underneath it all, I can never let go of you.
My love for you cannot die, because I’m too scared to let it. I’ve conviced myself that I can’t be with you now, but I know that you will be back in my life at some point. I know you know that, too. So go ahead. Hate me. Loathe me. Despise me. Fuck the random skanks you pick up on the streets. But you do love me. That I will always know. And we will be back together again.
At least let me believe that, so I don’t drown in the pain.