• Teaching a Choir

    by  • September 26, 2010 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration, Grief, School, Those Gone Before Us • 0 Comments

    G-

    Remember? Everybody who knew you called you that…

    It’s been how many years? Almost 6, I think. It’s not one of the best high school memories. I didn’t understand then, still don’t.

    It makes no sense. There weren’t any signs. Even the note. Why? Why?! You said you loved everybody in the choirs! And that you loved teaching us! Then why? Why did you leave us? If you loved us then why did you go?

    I screamed…everybody stared at me when I screamed cause they said you killed yourself. I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t. You were supposed to be our role model. Our mentor. What good is a mentor that kills himself?! We don’t even know why you did it! Granted I didn’t know you that well but could you blame me? It was only November of my first year in high school! You never gave me a chance to know you. How dare you? How dare you?! We could’ve been best buds! You knew my sister and everything.

    Do you realize how many people you hurt? We couldn’t sing for weeks. We went through 3 teachers. It was hard. When we were practicing for your memorial…half of us would keep breaking down. I don’t know how we managed to keep face during the actual performance. It was hard, y’know? Really hard.

    Despite all this…I really hope you’re still teaching. I hope you’re teaching the angels to sing. If you are, then maybe I’ll join that choir one day. But only if you’re the one teaching.

    Kaitlin

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