In my dreams, I try to cry but I can’t. I’m caught somewhere between still loving you and building a new life. I feel the emotions that lie just under the surface wanting to erupt, but instead I wake up.
I keep telling myself, “Keep pushing, keep going, keep trying, keep seeking”. For the most part, I do. But there are times when I wonder what really happened. Could a head injury change someone that much? Could we be very in love for 22 years only to have it dashed by some freak accident?
It became all about you. Your fears, deillusions, paranoia…I had no say. All I had and have was control over myself. So in an effort to seize this control, I let go of you. I let go of your abuse, your mindgames, your ego. But, I always prayed that you would have a wonderful life…whoever it is that you’ve become.
May God Bless you and keep you.