• family stuff

    by  • September 26, 2010 • Depression, Family Stuff, Grief, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Parents • 0 Comments

    Dear dad,

    You don’t really love me do you?

    You buy me expensive things that everyone wishes they had and keep me at a distance. That is what happiness is right–nice things?

    I understand that I have been a “little bitch” since I was born always being so inconvenient for you both to have. When you were poor you had to pay that several grand for my birth and you had no way to pay it. (Thanks dad for telling me that when you were mad at me when I was 9.)

    I always was bothering you for help when I was hurt or sick. So inconvenient. Remember that time when I had the cut on my leg and mom sent me to you to clean it because I didn’t know where the stuff was. That was the first time you called me a bitch, when I was 7. I told mom that you were busy watching tv and didn’t hear me. She got mad so you chased after me and pushed me to the ground. You don’t remember do you?

    What about the time I was 16 and I had just swallowed several handfuls of pills and you just told my mom, “take care of it andrea.” Because all you could think was how expensive it would be to get my stomach pumped right? You knew mom wouldn’t just watch the little bitch die huh? Don’t worry, dad, next time I will make sure mom doesn’t catch me.

    Or the time I begged you not to leave me alone because I was feeling like I might hurt myself and you gave me 100 bucks and left for two weeks. Money is such a great substitute for parents, thanks dad. 100 bucks to buy the noose, you are so loving. Rachelle is who saved me, damn her right? The best thing you ever gave me, a sister.

    And now I am in college, so inconvenient but at least the school keeps me busy and out of your way right? Don’t worry dad I will make sure that when I finish you won’t have to see this little bitch’s face anymore.


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