I have nothing left to say anymore.
This collection of characters, of letters, of words; they are nothing but what was left in my last grasp for anything concrete. I have nothing more than the thoughts in my brain and the beat in my heart.
I have wanted so many things in my twenty-one years, and grown to love so many people. At the end of the day, though, it is myself alone to comfort me. I have no partner. I have no person who has continuously known me and my heart. I have no person that I can refer to stories from years before. They wouldn’t recognize them. And in a years time, they probably won’t recognize me.
I am a nomad in this world of human relationships, and my presence is a rare sight. I am told that I understand people the most, but it is that quality alone that makes it impossible for me to maintain my interest in them. Moments after meeting you, I will know your characteristics and your intentions. I will know where you came from, and what decisions you will make. There is nothing that I do not know about you, therefore you offer me no surprise…no interest.
Those few who are different, they are my true prizes. They are the select who truly have access to my hearts desires and the rare opportunity to receive my genuine love, but they do not choose to take it. It is the person who surprises me that can keep me, but I am no longer surprised when they choose not to.
But I don’t want them anymore. I don’t want you anymore. I just want to feel satisfaction in knowing that I am and always will be my own companion.