• Dear Parents

    by  • September 26, 2010 • Abuse, Family Stuff, Frustration, Grief, Parents • 6 Comments

    I want therapy. I want to see a psychiatrist and get help. I cut. I’m an on and off again anorexic and lately I think I’m starting to be bulimic. I’m depressed. I have panic attacks. But you can’t see any of this.

    You just think I’m some little whiny unappreciative bitch who doesn’t know how to buck up and live life. Please just open your eyes and see that I’m slowly dying on the inside. I don’t know how to go on much longer.

    Please just listen for once. I want to tell you all of this so badly, but I know you won’t take
    it well. You’ll start yelling and tell me “well just stop okay Rachel? I don’t want people to find out about this.” Because that’s what you always say.

    You’re so damn worried about what other people think.

    Please just make me feel comfortable enough to tell you all of this. I know I need help. I want help, even if I don’t want to stop cutting. I know that I need to if I ever want to be happy. And I want to be happy so badly. Please let me be happy.

    Listen to me. I don’t know how to tell you.
    Your Daughter

    6 Responses to Dear Parents

    1. Jules
      September 26, 2010 at 4:52 pm

      I think you need to be told this. It may seem really irrelevant or stupid or possibly hurtful, but I don’t mean it to be. I just think you need to be told.

      I love you. x

    2. katey
      September 26, 2010 at 6:23 pm

      we’ll listen, no one who judges you is worth you hurting this bad. you’re worth as much as anyone else.

    3. JG
      September 26, 2010 at 6:28 pm

      Ditto!^^^ I have kids myself, and I can’t imagine when they get older not being able to talk to me about anything. Sometimes you just have to sit them down and tell them you are going to have an adult conversation, that they are not aloud to speak until you have said you piece.

    4. Melanie
      September 26, 2010 at 7:08 pm

      Parents can be horribly dismissive and unsupportive. It can be the most difficult thing in the world to come up with enough courage to let them in on secrets big as these. So if you can’t do it, just find someone to tell. Get this off your chest and get healthy for yourself. A school counselor? Friend?

    5. Me
      September 27, 2010 at 1:18 am

      I know what you are going through. My parents are well known in the city I live in. It is really hard to tell anyone when you are dealing with depression and disorders, its even worse when you have ‘perfect’ parents or the image of ‘perfection’. Tell your parents to “Grow the fuck up and be parents!” You’re right…who gives a fuck about what other people think?! And if youre parents are that damn worried then you need to put them in their place. I am sorry that you have parents like that, mine are very similar. If you don’t tell them it will get worse, trust me I know. You’re strong and you know you need help. Get help with or without your parents. If you talk to them and they are still being complete ignorant to your needs and reaching out for help then research and find free therapy in your area, read self help books, call the toll free phone lines, reach out to other family members besides your parents, if youre old enough…move the fuck out. Parents like that will drive you crazy. I am just now doing what I want to do, not what they want me to. I hope that they realize what is really important here and are there for you along your healing process, but if they aren’t please just go get help from somewhere else.

    6. Amanda
      September 27, 2010 at 8:05 am

      I know what you’re going through. My parents wouldn’t accept that I was depressed and dismissed it as ‘needing to grow up.’ I finally moved out, went to therapy, and I’m slowly getting better. It’s a tough road, and sometimes those close to you only make it worse. I know it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that the people who are supposed to love you don’t give you what you need, I really do. But there are other people out there that can. If you need to talk feel free to email me.

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