• Please God don’t let me be pregnant

    by  • September 24, 2010 • * Safe for Work *, Fear, Heartbreak, Hope, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    I got my tubes tied 3 years ago.

    I told you this when we got together, but you insisted you would get me pregnant and that you wanted to. I said good luck and laughed it off.

    This was 4 months ago. Now I’m spotting twice a month, sick as a dog (and I never had morning sickness with any of my other ones). I try to chalk the kicking sensation off to my hernia…but it’s at my esophygus and isn’t a sliding hernia.

    I’m terrified that you actually got what you wanted, because we are no longer together, and I don’t know how in the hell I coulod bring myself to tell you that i am having your child, if I am in fact pregnant. I will go to the Dr. a week from Monday and find out for sure.

    Part of me prays that I’m not, but deep in this broken heart you left, I hope it’s true. I hope I can have you in my life forever, one way or another. I love you, and if I am going to be a mom again, I will love this child. Please don’t be mad, I never intended for any of this.

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