• The First One, The Jackass

    by  • September 23, 2010 • Cheating, Letting Go, Lost Love, Regret, Sex • 3 Comments

    I had always wanted to date a guy like you, but I was always too shy and I never trusted guys so I didn’t. You dated that crazy girl and I didn’t care because I was infatuated with your quiet friend. Then you dated my best friend, which bothered me a little but I still liked your quiet friend. Both of those relationships crashed and burned and I should have known.

    You pursued me and I didn’t take your bait, but then I fell for your bullshit, because I had never felt so romantically connected with someone. I had fun being your “more than a friend.” It’s funny how you, me, and your quiet friend became best friends after high school. I was having the time of my life with you guys.

    You pursued me. The whole time and then YOU asked where we were in the relationship. So we dated because no one had ever been so interested in me before and you were so damn attractive.

    I was fed up with your immaturity and how you were a complete jackass when you drank, but I was naive and I didn’t want to ruin it. So that night I thought I would give my virginity to you, but you did what I feared most. You cheated. Straight up and I had to find out from your ex-girlfriend, my best-friend. You told me she looked like Shakira…now I can’t listen to Shakira. And you must have been blackout drunk because she looked my like a frizzy haired jungle child. It was also great how she was in 2 of my university classes, seeing her every day really helped me get over it all.

    I would just like to thank you for teaching me that I was right about guys like you. I don’t regret what we had. I regret that I didn’t step outside my comfort zone and tell you what I felt. I must have been like dating a stuff animal but I was scared and you proved me right. So that I am truly sorry for.

    It has been 6 months and I still think about you every day. I try so hard not to but there is something that reminds me of you everywhere.

    I wish I could stop thinking about you and go out and meet people. I know not all guys are like you but now that’s what I think when I meet new guys. I think all they want is to mess around and then leave without fixing the problem they left.

    I just want to scream. I want this pain to stop but I never told you that I think your a jackass. I never told you that you’re a little boy and you ruined one of the greatest friendships I ever had. You ruined my perspective on relationships which I am trying to repair.

    But after all of this I am going to be the bigger person.

    Have a good life.

    Go find another girl, I know you’ll make her unhappy some how too, like me, my best friend and even the crazy girl. Good luck becoming anything because your scared shitless of life. Go get some new friends because you’ve burned all your bridges. But seriously, I wish you well, because I know I am going to be fine, no great. I will meet someone who will make me feel infinitely better than you did. I am stronger than you and this will all go away in time. I have nothing to be ashamed of, you on the other hand have so much to hide.

    I hope you have a great life, because mine is going to be fucking awesome. Eat my dust.

    3 Responses to The First One, The Jackass

    1. Melina
      May 20, 2011 at 12:54 pm

      thank you for this lmao this explains what im going through right now and can so relate. i was feeling so shitty but now thanks to your letter i know my life will be fucking awesome 🙂

      continue to write ill be checking this out constantly and telling people about it!! =D

    2. TheONLYone
      May 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

      This comment is for the previous comment poster, Melina.

      YOU should have known, once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. He cheated on his wife with you and he cheated on you with TWO other girls! One of which you work with idiot. And now he’s back with his wife. Jesus whatever would make you believe that a man who wont be faithful to the woman he calls his wife, the mother of his children that he’d be faithful to the whore that let him fuck her, take her virginity knowing that he was married and cheating???

      Thought you were cute when he was screwing around with you, but turns out it wasnt so cute when he was screwing around on you huh.

      Maybe now you’ve learned your lesson. DONT FUCK WITH MARRIED MEN.

      You’ve fucked with TWO married men and gotten your ass played.

      Light yourself a candle next time you go to mass.

    3. Wow
      March 18, 2017 at 7:15 pm

      Are you talking about J.H.?

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