• I hate myself for thinking of you.

    by  • September 23, 2010 • * Safe for Work *, Friends, Grief, Letting Go, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You • 0 Comments

    Ever since we first me, I’ve thought about you non-stop. Just being in the same room with you makes me feel special and worthy. Cuddling with you made me feel safe. No matter the amount of time we spent together it wasn’t enough.

    Then you stopped talking to me. You ignored me. Pretended I didn’t exist. It seemed so easy for you. It hurts that I don’t deserve an explanation.

    I hate myself for still wanting to be around you. I hate myself for thinking about you, and then thinking about how you probably never think of me. I didn’t play a big role in your life. Your friendship meant more to me than it did to you. You did it out of obligation and guilt. Because you’re SUCH a nice guy.

    All I wanted was to be your friend. I just wanted you to let me care about you. I wanted to listen and be there for you. But you didn’t let me in. And I wonder what kind of person turns down a friendship from someone who would’ve done anything for you.

    I still love you, I still care for you, and I’ll always think about you. But I give up on trying to be your friend when you desperately need one.

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