I can’t stand it.
I can’t stand the way you make me feel like an idiot. “Put it this way.” NO. You aren’t even putting it a different way you moron. “You know that, RIGHT?” NO. I don’t know about your stupid fucking engineering bullshit. I don’t follow every stock in the stock market. I DON’T CARE!!!! I AM INTELLIGENT.
Stop trying to build yourself up to make yourself seem more attractive to me. Stop trying to win me back by pretending you’re doing so well. LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I don’t answer your calls or texts for a reason. Take a fucking hint.
You make me feel guilty for leaving you, for giving up on something you thought was perfect. Well news flash, I was never happy. There were problems from the start.
The first year I ignored your lack of manners, class and social awareness. The second year, I ignored the fact that you are more interested in your fucking iPhone than anything anyone else has to say. I figured your past was traumatizing enough, your loss was great enough to justify some weird behavior. But no.
You’re just an insensitive, disrespectful, COMPLETELY UNAWARE, SELF-ABSORBED ASSHOLE. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You pretend to be so selfless and righteous, when really you only do any good in order to benefit yourself. You say you loved me. You said I was more important than your family, the family you lost.
Don’t you understand what kind of pressure that put on me? How am I supposed to replace the love of a mother, father and brother so cruelly taken away from you? I knew, from the start, that something wasn’t right. I knew that I should be hesitant, but I trusted you. I trusted you more than my own intuition. I trusted you to keep my secrets, defend my honor, to tell me the truth.
You lied. Over, and over and over again. You betrayed me so many times. I wish you had cheated on me, that would have been easier to deal with than you sharing my darkest secrets with anyone you felt may want to hear them.
Fuck you. You tell me I am the only thing you have to live for. Shut the fuck up you idiot.
I agree, your life is shit, but I’m done. I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. You said you worked soooo hard while I was having a hard time. You didn’t fucking do anything. You weren’t there for me when I needed you. You never listened, you waited to speak. You always forgot about everything I told you and were so fucking repetitive I wanted to strangle you.
Put it this way, grow up. You’re 25. Get it the fuck together.
AND LEAVE ME ALONE.