When we “met” you were 18.
We slowly became friends, which became best friends over the course of a year. A few months after your 19th birthday, I started falling in love with you.
You were the nicest, most respectable man that I had known in my life and you had helped me get away from someone really bad in my life. The day that I told you that I loved you, you returned those feelings and we became a couple… or as much of one as two people in two different states can be.
We finally met that New Years, and our relationship was complete bliss for nearly 4 years. There were times in our relationship when I should have bailed, or I knew it wouldn’t work out. You knew it too, but we were so in love that it blinded us.
Then you changed.
You’re not the same man I fell in love with anymore. You left me while you were visiting Thailand, and decided you wanted to stay there for good. The man who used to be shy, and respectful to everyone in his life, has now because some horny, less-decent person. Now it’s all about getting laid and partying and drinking to you.
We decided to continue our perfect friendship, but I’m finding this to be one-sided. Just like our relationship ended up being. One-sided.
Here I am, the fool that still loves and cares about you, and there you are, the asshole who couldn’t care less about me. Though you claim to… you still lie to me like a fucking child. We’re not even together anymore, and you can’t be honest with me? All of the things that made you a great person have left you. You say you’re afraid of my judging you and looking down upon you, but it’s too late. I already do.
Even though I’m still so very much in love with you and I still care about you enough to send you happy emails and still be your “fuck buddy”. Yeah, I am stupid enough I guess. I bet you sit there smug with your new ego, huh? I miss you, I don’t know why, but I do.
I want the person you used to be, back. You’re not who you were.
You’re not you anymore.