I’m pretty sure it’s been about a year since we last spoke.
It’s all good, really. I’m finishing up college and having fun and making plans for the future. It’s funny how over a year ago I couldn’t even imagine a future without you. So much has happened. I’ve done so much and have been through a lot, and I’ve thought about you a lot. I thought about you everyday. I’m doing better than I was, but I still think of you often.
You were a large part of my life for a good four years, so I can assume it’ll take at least 2 years not to think of you every day. I hope you’re happy and doing well with school and friends and family which I assume you are.
I still miss you, although I know there’s nothing I can do about that but take it day by day. At least when I think of you now I don’t really feel anything but nostalgic. You know how attached I get to nostalgic things. 🙂
I often remember the long and meaningless (yet so meaningful) car rides just to discover new places and listen to music. You were always so patient with me and my taking over the music. :X I remember the hikes at Breakheart on warm and sunny days and sitting on top of our rock just looking over at Boston and all of the towns and cities surrounding us. You always helped me climb back down the steep hills. 🙂 I remember the innocent naps and heated games of mariokart (did I mention how patient you were with me?) and the random sexcapades and the holidays spent with our families and I think about those times a lot.
Nearing the end I couldn’t admit it to you, I couldn’t even make a decision on whether or not I should stay with you, and for the on again off again status of our relationship for a year, and for my annoyingly indecisive nature I apologize. You deserve(d) so much better, and you knew that, so you did the right thing to yourself and broke out of it. Our relationship had fallen apart and you saved yourself.
Once I knew we were absolutely through, I had said it, and a little too late, but I’ll say it again here, I loved you. I loved you very much and it has taken me (and still is taking me) a very long time to completely get over it and you.
We can never be with each other again because we have grown into two very different people, but if you’re ever out in cyberspace and see this letter, just know that to this day you are one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me, and I am extremely thankful for that.
You took care of me and saved me from some horrifying situations and I am so grateful for having you at my side when I did. I hope that when you think back on our past relationship, if you ever do, you feel somewhat happy and as nostalgic as I feel, and I hope we can see each other again someday in a civil manner, and maybe even get to talk. If you don’t feel happy or nostalgic thinking about us, I understand as well, and I really do hope for the best for you.
You’re an incredible man who will do incredible things with his life, and I love you for it.