I detest you. I’ve known you for twelve years and you’re my best friend- but you have fucked up.
When we were in high school you were the best guy I knew.
Neither one of us were the thinnest people so therefore us fatties had to stick together. No one was interested in us. Sure you were immensely cool- but cool as you were no high school girl wanted to date you. Well, besides me (but that matters not).
So we’re best friends right? I’m going to your “band” practices, talking on the phone every night, hanging out every weekend, saying ‘yuck!’ when people asked if we were dating, yadda yadda etc. etc. I loved every second of it.
So basically something snaps in your brain that says ‘I don’t like the pudgy lifestyle anymore. I want out!’ You go on a crazy diet all summer and BAM! school comes around and you’re smokin hot. Now all these shallow girls come out of the woodworks to try to date you. Ungrateful whores. They didn’t like you before so what ever made you think they were serious? You should like someone for their personality not their pecs.
Anyway, I’m out the door once you’ve found your inner Adonis. Well, you keep me a secret so you can still study with me to keep up your grades. Yeah, thanks. We didn’t hang out and you pretended not to know me. Highschool= great… NOT
So college has rolled around and we’re back to bff. Only because you don’t like being alone now that all of your “friends” have dispersed to various community colleges. Yeah, so I’m back to taking you to dinner and helping you study or giving you advil to help your latest and greatest hangover. You’re a fucking moron.
I’d love to say I hate you for being an ass to me since you lost weight, but I can’t. I hate you because you’re killing yourself. And worst of all you won’t admit to it. You binge drink and do drugs occasionally. It’s not the weed I’m worried about, it’s your alcoholism. You always swore you wouldn’t turn into your dad… well guess what! You’re half his age and already drinking more. Congrats.
When we went on vacation this summer you got really sick… I proposed the fact that it might be alcohol withdrawl. I must have really pissed you off, but thats what it was. I’m guessing from how pissed you were that it must have struck a chord and actually scared you.
I’m really sick of you trying to get me drunk. Do you think that if I get drunk it will suddenly make me say you’re right? “oh! You’re right! Getting drunk is way too much fun to worry about my health! Ha ha ha ha!” Ain’t gonna happen.
It’s not that I’m scared or anything else, the fact of the matter is I’m making a choice to not binge drink. I don’t want to be out of control. I don’t want regret in my life. And I certainly don’t want to risk getting addicted to it, because what I’m doing at school right now is so very important. These classes you’re skipping determine our futures. And my future is not something I’m willing to drink away like you’re trying to do with your past.
So don’t ask me to watch you screw up your life. Don’t ask me to make bad descisions. Don’t ask me to stop being your friend. Becuase THAT is what this will eventually boil down to.
I love you and I always will, loser, but you need to think about some things.