• Why did I let you in?

    by  • September 20, 2010 • Breaking Up, Frustration, Goodbye, Grief, Guilt, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    I knew I wasn’t supposed to love you or miss you or care about you.

    After that day we spent together I wasn’t supposed to call you or text you. I was supposed to forget about you.

    But you did something to me that I couldn’t forget and even though I was supposed to get married to another man in 3 weeks, I couldn’t get you off my mind.

    You consumed me. When he touched me I thought of you, when he kissed me I was wishing it was you, when I was in his arms it didn’t feel right. I felt so guilty cause even though I loved him I was wanting you. I fought with myself, telling myself let you go but I couldn’t.

    Then I did the coldest thing I could do to my man. I left him a week before our wedding day for you. Even though I didn’t know if we would ever be together.

    Now here I am engaged to you, deeply in love with you and hating myself for everything I put him through. I find myself missing him because he treated me right. You never have time for me. It’s all about the drinking and fighting and you don’t give a damn about me anymore. I’m just arm candy something, to show off and look at. Fuck you, why did I let you in?

    Why did I let you come between me and my real man? Why did I fall for you and give up a good thing?

    Today I’m leaving. When you get home my things will be packed and I’m done. I’m moving to someone who’s gonna treat me right and love me. I’m moving on to someone that I can truly love and know I can be with forever.

    I wish you the best and hope that one day you’ll be able to change your ways.

    Goodbye J.

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