Did you write to me over the weekend? I didn’t find a suggested day or time. Maybe I overlooked something??
I did some deep thinking over the weekend. I know you did too! I know there’s something going on in your life. Changes for the better, which are much bigger than me. Life-changing currents, which will bring you a lifetime of joy. Events which I believe God has set into motion. For me to insert myself into the middle of this…would be irresponsible. Very dangerous for us both. Even if we plan that we would simply meet to resolve or settle ourselves.
Is it just me that flip-flops between being a good boy and a bad boy?!
The common thread in all this, is that I fear God. There it is.
You know that if we were not in relationships, I would like to share so much with you. I have 1000 things to communicate..verbal and non-verbal!
Now….I could allow myself to simply go with the flow, and allow you to decide the time and place and even the possibility…but that is to put the responsibility on your shoulders for the outcome. And that is cowardly and irresponsible and would be abusive in the end.
So I take the responsibility here, before knowing any different, and say we need to dial it back, to the standards we’ve held.
You KNOW I don’t do this easily, or with any desire to cause you pain. A huge side of me says “GO SEE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!” Then the still small voice says..no. Obey.
And I know that voice. It’s all I know.
There are bigger things for you in your life. A wonderful future. You and I know each other exist, and for a season, we really enjoyed our friendship and closeness. But I am not to go on this journey with you, other than in spirit. My heart is extended to you with all warmth. But I want to see your life enriched, and explode with goodness, health, prosperity, and happiness.
I think my involvement would escalate the confusion, and pring a real possibility of pain and bad things.
I will be here today, and await your thoughts.