It’s my last year of college, the best years of my life.
My college years have been spent battling a friends suicide, my own depression, fighting my own attempt at suicide. I broke up with the only man I love for someone who I thought I loved. I was happy for a while, and now school started again and I am once again fighting to stop myself from driving off the road, or drinking away all the pain in my life.
But what pain do I have? Why am I sad? My life is a dream by most standards.
My parents pay for everything. My tuition, my car, my apartment, my bills, my food, my sorority, my credit card and even for my weekend “fun”. I’m graduating Suma Cum Laude. I’m dating a man who has loved me for 5 years. A man I couldn’t see myself living without.
I have a family who loves me. Best friends until the end of time. A sorority that would do anything for me. A fraternity that feels the same.
But for some reason I can’t get over this continuous sadness. I can’t eat because I have no appetite. I can’t wake up because I’m always tired. I can’t exercise because I’m continually fatigued. I can’t find happiness in anything.
Not even my music makes me happy anymore.
This is an anonymous note, to an anonymous group. I don’t know what I’m looking for. I don’t know what I want. I’m just tired of feeling hopeless.