• “I hate you.”

    by  • September 19, 2010 • Hatred, Letting Go, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    You looked me straight in the face and said those exact words.

    Not because you mean them, but because you hate that I know what you won’t face. I know she doesn’t make you happy, but you won’t leave her. She’s disgusting and is mean to everyone. She uses you for anything she can get her hands on, even your own mother dislikes her. I wish you could see what every other person sees. I wish you would get rid of her. She doesn’t deserve you, and you know it. You are so much better than her. You know I could ruin everything for you in a split second, but you know I love you way too much to do that.

    You told me the night before last that you’re only with her so that you’re not alone. How could you possibly be alone when you know I’m here? And last night you had the nerve to lie to my face. You may hate me because I know you inside and out, but I hate you because you’re a liar. A liar, and a pessimist. You don’t care about anything but yourself. You get what you want and expect it to be perfect all the time. You blow everything off and never do anything for yourself. You expect everything to fall into your lap.

    I can’t trust you, but for some reason I will still spill my guts out to you, acting like you actually care. I tell you what I feel, even though I know it means nothing to you. You were the only one that I told to their face that I tried to kill myself on several occasions, and you were the only one to hug me. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved with my entire heart, and you’re the only one that has thrown it away.

    I want to hate you and throw you out of my life with no regrets, but I know we’ll always find a way back into each other’s life. It’s inevitable. It happens whether we want it to or not. I want to not love you anymore, but I can’t just stop. It’s a constant back and forth thing in my mind. I want to hate you, because of everything you’ve put me through, but I just can’t. Something inside of me won’t let me hate you.

    You’re not happy with her, I know you’re not. Compare our relationship and your relationship with her. You’re no where near as happy with her as you were with me.

    So why would you put yourself through that?

    You know damn well you could get me back at the drop of a hat, and I know I could get you back like right now but I’m just… not like that. I can’t make you come back to me, but I can put it in your head. That’s why you hate me.

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