I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I’ve never been afraid of anything.
Not a thing.
I’m not afraid of spiders, heights, snakes. Not death and dying. Nothing.
That was true until three months ago.
Now I’m terrified.
I’m so scared; all the time. You say you didn’t break up with me for someone else, but I can’t help but think you’re lying to me. I know she loves you. It’s obvious. She has for a year now. But something is holding you back.
I think that something is me.
God, I’m so afraid. I’m terrified of seeing you with someone other than me. It’s my deepest and darkest secret.
You’re so confusing. You’re hurting so many people. Including me. I should tell her everything we have done in the past month. While you’ve been talking to her while she’s at college, you’ve been in my bed. But I know telling her would mean losing you. I don’t ever want to lose you.
For the first time in my life, I’m scared. No one knows.
Not even you.