I’m not doing so well. I started drinking and cutting again. I don’t know why. I just did.
I feel as if everything is falling apart. It feels as if I’m losing my close friends. I feel so alone and unwanted. I wish I could see you and talk to you again. But you’re gone.
I have been thinking of suicide again. I always told people I never think about it. But the fact of the matter is, I always have. Never stopped. It feels as if there’s nothing to save me. No medicine, no amount of therapy will change me.
And every time I think of how I’ll never see you again, I get sad. I feel like I’ve lost the most important person to me. How you always listened to me and helped me. But I feel as if I’m falling back to who I was before.
I wish you were here. There’s no one else in the world that I trust as much as you. I lie to everyone else, but not you, never you. I have never lied to you.
I just wish I could see you again. Get a hug from you. Some re-assuring words from you.
If I got that, I feel as if I’d be OK for a little while longer.