• Am I mistaken?

    by  • September 17, 2010 • Betrayal, Breaking Up, Family Stuff, Heartbreak, Letting Go, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    The first night we met I had such a strong attraction to you.

    I still feel that same way.

    We didn’t last very long though, which makes me wonder why I even care still? Your mother and friends put such a bump on the road for us. I honestly think they cause you distruction in your love life to remain close to your daughter.

    I never said or did any of the things they accused me of, I swear.

    If they had taken the time to get to know me I garauntee they would have told you to start treating me better and to hang on to me. I turned bitter and jealous because of not only what they did, but what I found. I still cared about you so much after all of that. I fell in love with you after a short period of time. I assume its because I thought you were the male version of me, in a sense.

    You try to justify your actions in our relationship by saying “we spent so much time together” but that doesn’t make the faults okay. You could have healed me and stepped up after I got hurt by your mom, “friends”, and your actions. I just wish that you would of seen what you had. I guess that you are so busy trying to not burn your bridges with you mom and friends (because they help you with your daughter) you didn’t realize that I was there.

    I wanted to share a life with you…even though I knew you had a hard time showing emotions, and you honestly have the mind frame of a high school boy. I accepted this. You’re daughter is such an angel, and I miss her so much. I would have been so good for you and her. I know you always say you don’t want to find her a mother because she already has one…I understand that. I just wanted us to help eachother heal and grow together.

    I love your little girl and wanted to be a part of her life. To teach her things, and participate in her life. I just don’t understand how I couldn’t get you to open up to me. My days were spent planning on how to make you happy that night. I spent over $500 in lingerie but, I didn’t always feel sexy enough to wear it with you. You made me feel inferior…to not only you but your mom and friends…like somehow you placed us in the same catergory when really you shouldnt have.

    When you are in a new relatinship your family and friends (if they cared about you) would take a step back and not interfere. My family didn’t like you at all…but did they touch your property, write you nasty letters, or make up lies about you sending letters? And even when they spoke negatively of you I defended you till the end! You just stayed silent and let your family and friends bash me! They would purposely make things run over time because they knew I was at your house waiting!

    After all of this, I still care about you. I know you don’t deserve me, but it’s only because you never put in the effort that you were capable of. You never even ask how my son is doing since we’ve stopped hanging out as much. He has brought you up twice in the last 3 days. Well, you once and your daughter once.

    We have been broken up for almost 4 months now and I still am not over you and apparently, neither is my son. I know now to be extremely careful. I waited so long to be in a relationship, and then I was with you…just a reminder of why I don’t want a relationship…because I always get jilted. It’s funny because the second after we broke up you wasted no time hooking up or attempting to hook up with other people. I havent been with anyone since you. People advised me to have a fling saying “it will make you get over him” what a crock of shit.

    Well, I guess I can say I am over you…but I am not over the hopes that I had for us and I am not over your little girl. You had someone who wanted to give you everything and thought the world of you and your child and put up with your mother and friends harassing me!

    I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for, because apparently my everything wasn’t enough. I just hope whoever you find treats your daughter the way she should be treated, and can make you step up to your mom and friends. In fact, you inspired me to move, and to stop working for my family company…because I see how your mom controls you because she controls your paycheck.

    Tonight I am offically realizing that I am freeing myself of all the people in my life who don’t appreciate me…you’re at the top the the list. Good luck to you and I really hope you and your daughter stay healthy and happy.

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