I figured out my feelings for you at the point where your feelings for me scared you.
You could tease….boy could you tease. Some years later you tell me that you’ve come to terms….after I EXPRESSED my love to you…..you used your family as a reason instead of telling me the truth. Maybe you didn’t know the truth yourself.
You finally tell me what I knew for years and constantly tell me that you are attracted…that I’m sexy….you don’t want to risk the friendship. HA! Right! I just said okay because you sugar coat shit with me. And then!! This is the fucking kicker! You meet someone! A watered down version of me! You date them and wonder why I hate them! Wonder why I shut down to you! Because I was there first and you shunned my fucking love for her’s!
Everything was fine on your side because you didn’t even bother to think what the fuck it was like on the other side because you were happy. And people wonder why I don’t believe in love. I’M rejected CONSTANTLY for another person that is nowhere near my level or just a fucking watered down version of me!
I hope you read this and know exactly who you are. If not I hope YOU read this and realize that you are putting someone through this same shit or something similar and you fix that shit by telling them the truth instead of pulling them on some little string to have as your fucking back up plan…you know that one person that you can “SETTLE” with….Who the FUCK wants to be SETTLED for?! You go think about that and STOP IT!!!! It doesn’t feel good to your “friend” if you can really call them that.
But I won’t do anything about this….I’ll wait for phone calls that never come….replies to texts I sent days ago.
Cause even though I HATE what you are doing to me….I still love you and wait for that day when you want to settle down for me…