The day you introduced me to your friends, was the day I realized I had to lie to you.
I haven’t had sex, and you told them that. For the rest of the afternoon I was referred to as a prude, and was left out and made fun of because every conversation was about sex.
To save myself a little from this uncomfortable situation, I told you that I didn’t believe in waiting until marriage to have sex. That I was fine with having it before marriage, as long as it was with someone I loved, and not while I was in high school. That at least bought me a little slack with your friends, and relief from some teasing.
The truth is, I fully intend on waiting until I am married to have sex. I may have said not in high school, but now that we have graduated, I am going to say “not while I’m in college.” I know if I have sex before marriage I am going to regret it. When I have sex I don’t ever want to look back with regret. I want it to be with one person, and the person I love and spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want to worry about diseases or getting pregnant outside of marriage. I feel I am respecting myself and my future partner so much more, if I wait. So, I am choosing to wait.
Originally, I said all this to gain acceptance from your friends. Well, turns out your friends are rude and have no respect towards me. I could honestly care less about their acceptance, and if they want to call me a prude then they can go for it. I don’t want to be like them; having casual sex to gain love or acceptance, and potentially getting STDs.
I wish I had stood my ground that day, and stuck with my beliefs. It wasn’t worth it to lie. But now you believe that lie, and I have a good feeling you are just going to make fun of me if I tell you the truth, because you are becoming more and more like your friends every day.
One day this is all going to come out. And I am going to be so proud of myself the day it does, because even if you make fun of me, it’s still my choice and my self-respect.