• What are we doing?

    by  • September 14, 2010 • Breaking Up, Forgiveness, Friends, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 2 Comments

    Dear carbon-based life form,

    It’s been 11 months and 10 days since I last held your hand.

    I’m great, thanks. I wasn’t, but now I am.

    When my grandfather died I needed someone. I needed you, because I wasn’t there with the rest of my family when he passed and the guilt still gets to me. I needed your love, your wisdom, and your hugs. So thanks for not being there.

    Thanks for breaking up with me less than a week after his funeral, one week before finals, one week after I got over swine flu and two weeks before my birthday. I wouldn’t have wanted October to be too boring.

    When I look back on our relationship there were tell-tale signs that it would end badly. You always broke our dates minutes before we were supposed to meet, when I was already dressed up and when my parents had already left me alone for the night. You never wanted to talk on the phone, when I would call you’d rather text or get on AIM. (Who still uses AIM?) You didn’t come to my graduation. You DIDN’T come to my GRADUATION.

    But I can’t blame it all on you. It was I who was skeptical about dating you in the first place. It was I who was always too nervous to kiss you. And it was I who didn’t realize that I actually loved you ‘til I was a few miles from my new home at the University.

    I cannot believe I’ve allowed myself to stay friends with you, but I have. And now we have a better relationship as friends than we ever did when we were dating. We talk on the phone all the time. We don’t just talk about things; we talk about the meaning of things. We have the most amazing conversations. Our phone calls are the high point of my day. I can never talk to anyone the way I talk to you. There is only a certain kind of person that can talk on end and never have a dull moment, and we’re a pair of ‘em.

    I’ve changed since last October. I was a shell of a person before now.

    I’ve learned to Laugh.

    I just want to let you know that I forgave you a long time ago. It still hurts a little but I forgive you. I want you to know that I can’t imagine my life without your friendship. I want you to know I still love you in some form or fashion and that when the day comes I’ll be more than ready to go backpacking with you my friend.

    With love,
    Another carbon-based life form

    2 Responses to What are we doing?

    1. L
      September 14, 2010 at 2:10 pm

      This is amazing – truely touching!

    2. L
      September 14, 2010 at 7:33 pm

      Thanks. There are still things I need to say. I just found this site today and it’s incredible. =)

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