Dear EVERYONE I have and will ever know,
I was raped! I was 17.
I went to a rave and a man I sort of knew drugged me. I have almost no recollection of the evening. People who were there have told me he kept giving me pills. My friend said my eyes were jittering all around and I couldn’t focus on anything. I started coming to sometime in the morning.
I was in a strange room and he was on top of me with a horrid look of pleasure on his face. He was raping me. I kept blacking out and coming to. Finally I woke up stripped naked, and completely exposed. His mother opened his bedroom door and looked at my body on display with disgust shutting the door quickly.
After this happened my brain couldn’t even consider the word RAPE. It didn’t even cross my mind. I rationalized that WE had sex and must now be a couple. So he was my “boyfriend”.
A few weeks later when I was at school describing the event to a friend she looked at me with a look of horror on her face and responded “You were raped!”.
Until that very moment I hadn’t thought if it like that. I couldn’t. When the words came out of her mouth it was as though a switch had been flicked and I was suddenly seeing the situation illuminated. I WAS RAPED!
This is something that affects me. It does not define me. I do not think about it every day. I still trust men and love having sex. But it does affect me.
Sometimes, things you say hurt me. Sometimes your jokes sting. Sometimes I cry. Please be aware of your words. Please be considerate.
This happens far more often than you’d think, and chances are good that at least a handful of women you know have been through something similar.
We just don’t like to talk about it.