• Best Friend

    by  • September 13, 2010 • Friends, Grief, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    It’s saddening when I realized you are no longer my best friend. There will no longer be those days where I get to lay on the grass and talk about nothing and everything all at once with you. When I get to feel that you will always be there for me.

    It’s sad to think about this. Very sad. But I have to get it out.

    I love you, did you know that? Yes, I’m sure you do now. But that’s the thing, you know and that’s where it went wrong.

    You ignore me. It’s true, don’t try to deny it. You don’t talk to me like you used to. It hurts me more than you could ever know. There are days where just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes. But like one of your favorite songs says

    I tried to mascaraed the pain
    That’s why I’m next on the booth
    D-d-d dance to the groove
    There is no there is no getting over you.

    And sadly, that’s true. I will never forget you. I will always remember how I felt for you. I need you to know that. I need you to fully grasp what I’m trying to say. I love you.

    So when you go out acting as though nothing happened, it makes me feel insignificant. Like I’m an unimportant part in your life. We knew each other for years. I have always loved you. And now, you don’t love me. Now, you go on like I’m no one. I can see it. I can see that you don’t care for me like you used to.

    You love her and I know that. Yet, I would’ve put it all aside just to be with you.

    I’m sorry I can’t be her. I know that if she would want to be with you, you would go to her without a second thought. You’d jump at the chance. Yet when I wanted you, you pushed me away. You keep pushing me until one day I won’t be there. I’ll leave. And you won’t notice when I leave.

    But I doubt I can leave without a broken heart. Without regrets. I’ll always want to be there for you. No matter what it is. I’ll want to help you through your troubles. I won’t want anything in return. Not even your love. But who can go on like that forever. No one. I’ll give up one day. One of these days… you will not have me there. And you’ll realize that I loved you.

    Today, I won’t leave. Today, I still love you. I still shed tears for you. I want you more than I want anything else. And you don’t know it. I never showed you how important you are to me. That’s my biggest regret. Not showing you how much I love you.

    It hurts me when you don’t respond to what I say. You hardly talk to me. We don’t talk like we used to. We’re just friends now. I’ve lost my best friend. My greatest treasure. My only wish is that you come back to me. I need you. I want you.

    When I do get to see you, I’m so happy. I just want to hold you. Kiss you like no one has kissed you. I want you to feel what I feel. But there’s something holding me back. I don’t want you to become angry with me. I can’t have you angry with me.

    Because I love you.

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