• Soul-mate who wasn’t.

    by  • September 12, 2010 • Confession, Friends, Hope, Love - Pure and Simple, Miss You, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    I love nothing in the world so much as you, is that not strange?

    You’re so perfectly wrong for me, I have never met anyone that I click with like this. I almost feel like we were born into the wrong bodies, or maybe we knew each other in a past life.

    I wish you’d waited for me, then we could have had this everyday.

    I am happy for you and her though, (jealous as hell but happy! :P) you found your soulmate for this life. I just wish it had been me.

    But I thought in case I die, as I’ll never allow myself to say these things to you aloud, I’d write you this letter which you’ll never read. Probably just as well really.

    Funny, I always get the feeling that when you’re with me, you feel similarly, like we could have been perfect if we hadn’t been who we are.

    Anyway, I really love being in your company, there’s no-one who makes me as whole, as blissfully happy as you do. The day we spent together when your girlfriend was working, was one of the most crazily happy days I have ever spent, and I keep burying myself in the memory, it still manages to make me smile.

    I love the soft smell of your hair and the way it feels when I bury my head into your chest. I love the goofy look that you get when I’ve been giving you a back rub, you didn’t realize that I could see your reflection in the television, but you were hilariously bashful about it. I love the feel of your skin under my hands, especially the skin on your neck, I wonder if you know how soft it is. You told me not to tell her because she might feel insecure, and usually you don’t let people touch you. It made me feel kind of privileged really. You let me. I kind of like having a secret with you, but vaguely guilty and ashamed about needing to have one. We have a strong connection but considering how amazingly beautiful your girlfriend is I honestly think she has very little to worry about. You have too much honour for that.

    It’s funny I really didn’t pick that you were ticklish, it never occurred to me, but I love that you are and that you squirm and laugh when I tickle you. I like mucking about with you, but I always remember in the breathing between laughs that I shouldn’t really be there, which is depressing and lonely. I think you felt guilty too, but I wouldn’t have traded it.

    You make me laugh so hard, I’ve never laughed like that before, in fact I hardly ever laugh properly. I liked the way you handle your OJ, with great skill! 😀 I like that we both love the same film and that we both want to use it for our (separate) weddings, I love it when you share little things like that with me, makes me feel special. Oh and I wrote a song about you but you’ll never hear it, not that you like singing anyway.

    I love your cheeky smile, and that you can politely write off the rest of the human race. I’ve never met someone I’m so on the level with either, intellectually and character wise, which is extremely odd given the circumstances.

    I like being close to you and holding your eyes for too long, I wish we could just hang out alone more often, only as friends, you should visit me more often.

    In short I go absolutely crazy without your company and I can’t wait 6 months to see you.

    If you ever read this I’m so screwed.

    ‘I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing’

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