Nothing makes sense anymore.
Even if it wasn’t perfect before, I knew what I was doing, what was happening, why everything was. I struggled, for years. I ignored the heavy burden I had unknowingly picked up, didn’t notice how it was suffocating me, slowly.
I went past my limit once, and somehow, I survived.
But I don’t know if I regret that anymore. It’s all so much more difficult now. I can’t get a hold of myself, and it’s scaring me. So much to take in, so much to do; so much I’ve never realized until now. I’m not sure I want any part of this, because I can see no future as I am now. And change is not an option, because I know it won’t happen.
It’s not your fault. I really wish I could change for you, but I don’t want this anymore.
I love you.