• I’m not ready

    by  • September 12, 2010 • Goodbye, Grief, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    Nothing makes sense anymore.

    Even if it wasn’t perfect before, I knew what I was doing, what was happening, why everything was. I struggled, for years. I ignored the heavy burden I had unknowingly picked up, didn’t notice how it was suffocating me, slowly.

    I went past my limit once, and somehow, I survived.

    But I don’t know if I regret that anymore. It’s all so much more difficult now. I can’t get a hold of myself, and it’s scaring me. So much to take in, so much to do; so much I’ve never realized until now. I’m not sure I want any part of this, because I can see no future as I am now. And change is not an option, because I know it won’t happen.

    It’s not your fault. I really wish I could change for you, but I don’t want this anymore.

    I love you.

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