I just want to say that I understand.
But…it wasn’t my fault.
I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry I made you live, even though you wanted to die. I know why you are angry. I know why you had this self-loathing. I got you help. I was there. I was just trying to be your friend. I just wanted to be your friend. Then, you used me and abused me…do you know how many nights I spent crying on the floor?
I was bent so far, I honestly don’t know how you didn’t break me. But, like I said, I understand. You needed help. And that’s ok. But, you took pride in throwing the help away. You made it your business to make me suffer instead.
I just thought you should know that I finally put the sheets back on my bed. Oh! I got a puppy. I also just want you to know that I really do understand all that you were going through. You were just unwell.
I understand. I understand. But you can’t have me anymore. I’m done. Let go. This is not my battle. Not anymore. And I’m tired of feeling guilty. Guilty for nothing. Unlike you, I understand when it’s time to move on. Don’t try to find me.