• I should Stop

    by  • September 12, 2010 • Cheating, Confusion, Guilt, Love - Pure and Simple, Marriage, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    I don’t know what’s happening…

    We’re getting married, yet my body, my heart, my lust is still for Him…

    I wish He would just disappear from the face of the earth. Then I won’t have to feel what I’m feeling right now.

    I’m so ashamed… Every time He flies back home, I just want every piece of him. I don’t want him to have anyone else but me. I’m so upset when I know he’s out and it’s not with me..

    It’s crazy I know, because you’re the one for me. You care about me, You would do anything for me, we had a beautiful child together…Yet I can’t get his face to be chased away from my mind.

    Your Touch…His Touch, it’s just not the same.

    Your Kiss….His Kiss, it’s not the same

    I know that no two people can make you feel the same way, but how could I feel this way about someone and NOT be with them? I wish I had him. I fantasize about him every single day.

    I should stop…

    I let myself feel this way…

    He had his chance, he fucked it up, yet I still let him in every single time. He comes here just to play with my emotions, make me lust for him. He takes me and then he’s off to New York again. No contact whatsoever unless I message him or call… What an asshole. An asshole that I want so fuckin much.

    He is so darn sexy…I often wish you were that sexy. He has a swagg that I can’t contain… His eyes , his smile..those lips, oh my GOD..please spare me of this pain I feel not getting to kiss him instead of you..

    I should stop…

    I don’t know if I Love him but I do know this, You Love me, and I’m better off with someone who Loves me than with someone I don’t even know what I feel and what he feels for me.

    Please Let me stop.

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