I’ve realized something about myself.
I used to be a shy little girl, who would gladly like any guy that pays attention to her. Up until very recently.
Now? Every guy that seems to possess an interest in me, I turn down. In some cases, turn down means “blow off”. I’m not always nice about it. Not mean. Just… passive aggressive. And I feel bad. I’m not a mean person, I don’t mean to be.
Something in me has changed, though. I’m stronger, even if I don’t alway show it. And I don’t need to be in a relationship. Sure, I would like one. I get lonely. I WANT to be with someone. But I don’t need it. And I’m not going to settle.
Sometimes, though, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I’m just holding out for you, because I know a part of me does still have feelings for you.
If it is, I hope its worth it. If not, I will be with someone when I want to be. If the right person comes along, I wont need to worry. If you aren’t the right one, if someone else is, then that will determine it. I hope.