• To The Friends I’ve Lost

    by  • September 11, 2010 • Eff Off - You - or Up, Friends, Frustration, Karma, Lost Love • 1 Comment

    Veda, Aimee, and Jimmy,

    The three musketeers. I’m sick of thinking of you guys.

    Fuck you for everything you’ve done to me. I thought you were my friends, my best friends in the whole wide world, and I trusted you guys completely. Fuck you for hurting me. Fuck you for betraying me. Fuck you for making me cry when I think of you. I’m still not over what happened between the four of us.

    Veda , fuck you the most, seeing your name still makes me tear up. You were, to me, a sister. But when I cried on the phone with you, you sat there in silence and did nothing. A true best friend would comfort me, but your lack of empathy crushed me. You had lost all your feelings for me, and you replaced me for friends who helped you more. All you cared about was college and getting ahead in life. Your “better” friends are terrible people, and they don’t really care about you, either, but I’m glad to know you’ll try and keep their friendship through rough times, even though you’ve only known them for a few months. Well you know what fuck you for that. I honestly hope that you NEVER find a job when you graduate. I hope you and Benji break up terribly, and I truly hope that you lose all your friends so you know how it feels.

    Jimmy, fuck you too. When you’re other “stafford” friends harassed me, and made me cry you watched it all happen and did nothing. Why didn’t you stand up for me. What did I do to you? What did I do to deserve the things she said to me? Did I really hurt you that much you wanted to make me cry, and never want to see anyone every again? I know you’re not going anywhere so karma’s a bitch isn’t it?

    And last but not least Aimee, you make me speechless. Your sweet and innocent exterior is just a shell harboring an easy molded soul. I don’t know what happened between us, but I have a feeling Veda got to you. I’m glad to know that after 5 years one talk ruins a friendship. You didn’t even bother to talk to me afterwards. You dissed me, and threw me out like an old used toy.

    All three of you screwed me over. I have everything I want in life, everything I’ve ever wanted, and all I can think about is the times between us. There are times when I want to call you but I know you wont pick up. There are times I drive past and wonder if you are even home. I remember the good times, the funny times, and all our adventures. We were the ferocious four. I can’t get over you guys. I loved you, all of you.

    So maybe I don’t have everything I wanted. All I’ve ever wanted was someone to love me, and not leave me, but just like my dad you left me. I guess I’m not worth anyone’s time. That’s what you’ve all taught to me.

    But really, fuck you all for making me feel worthless. I don’t care if it take 1000 years I’ll forget you guys ever existed so I can feel whole again.

    One Response to To The Friends I’ve Lost

    1. Katie
      September 11, 2010 at 5:45 pm

      it’s scary how similar a situation I have to you, you took the very thoughts I think almost every day I put them into words. I wish you nothing but happiness and someone who deserves you and won’t hurt you like those three did. I had three friends who left me behind for no reason and went on to spend the next two years harassing me everyday calling me a slut amongst other things. All I did was care for them, and no matter how much it hurts, I know deep down I hurt the most because I loved them so freaking much.

      I’m sorry you had to go through that, I hope time can make it better for us both

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