• it wasn’t an accident

    by  • September 11, 2010 • Cheating, Confession, Friends, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    I have to confess that we did not “just happen.”

    I planned it from the moment I first talked to you.

    I know we are both taken and can’t freely be together, and I knew from the moment we became more than friends that it wouldn’t last forever. I knew you would be the one to end it when the time came that you couldn’t take the guilt anymore, because I never wanted it to end.

    For me the guilt would never win in the fight against my feelings for you.

    I pretend that we are on the same page, I pretend that I felt as guilty as you did, I pretend that I’m fine with us going back to “just friends.” But I’m not okay, it is killing me and every day that we get a bit further apart I die a little inside. I know it will get easier with time and eventually these feelings will fade, but if it were up to me we would never have ended it.

    I wish, one way (my side) or the other (yours) that we really were on the same page.

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