We aven’t even talked in two months.
Not so much as a hi! or go to hell.
One would thing when going from everything in life we ever wanted, to nothing, it would be easier to let go. I feel like you died, for God’s sake. It’s killing me to be so close yet so far away.
I want to tell you so many times that I miss you, that I love you, that I’m still holding on to you, but this fear that you gave me won’t let me.
I made a new friend last night, and asked his advice on the situation. He was just as confused as I was about why you did the things you did. If you would have cheated, it would have been easy to let you go, I would have known that you didn’t care. But I looked in those eyes, I felt that touch, I lay there watching you sleep, skin to skin, in all the beauty that is you. I had you, and you loved me for a moment.
I saw you online yesterday, on that stupid game I swore I would never play again. But I do, because I feel closer to you somehow. And I am not even sure if you realize we’re going to be in the same group at the same time until one of us quits playing, but I won’t. It won’t be me. I want to be near you so bad it kills me. I thought this would be easy…but You make me weak. I saw you there and I broke down.
I wish I could wake up from this fantasy land, and move on. But my heart is still tethered to yours, and you won’t let me let go.