• Heartbreak

    by  • September 10, 2010 • Grief, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 2 Comments

    Dear You,

    So it’s almost been a month since we’ve been broken up.

    Whoever said it gets easier as time goes on lied majorly.
    It just gets a little more numb as time goes on.

    You said you want us to get back together yet besides the one email you sent you still haven’t showed me that you do. Sometimes I think it was just pretty little words to try and make it easier on both of us. You want me to go out and flirt and party and live my life, well did you ever think that I really loved you and that I can’t go back to things like that just yet and that it’s going to take time? Or that maybe, just maybe I was happy living my life with you by my side?

    We’re so different yet so similar and it’s scary to find someone like that. Sometimes I feel like we both should have fought harder and that this was the biggest mistake that could have happened. I don’t think it was wrong, though. I feel like this needed to happen so that maybe we can grow from this.

    It doesn’t make things any easier though, it’s still the pain and heart ache that come with it. You have no idea how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep, or just broken down and cried period. I put my brave face on and smile for the rest of the world and let them know that nothing can break me, or at least that’s what everyone things.

    At the end of the night I wish I could have my rock back, my best friend, and my love. Maybe if we do get back together this will make us stronger, maybe if we don’t get back together we can be friends again like we promised.

    The thing is I know I have anger towards you and I want to hate you but I’m not as mad as some people would think. You also have no idea that pressure I’m getting from people over still asking about “us” or are we back together or when will it happen. I’ll never tell you though because I’m trying to shelter you from it, why, I really don’t know but I am. I don’t want you to have to deal with what I’m dealing. I want you to move on with your life with or without me and when the time comes to give me back my ring and let me know what your choice is.

    I told you I wouldn’t be mad if you said it’s done for good and I really do mean that. But no matter what happens I’ll always love, I’ll always want you to be happy, and you’ll always be a part of me.

    Love forever and always,

    2 Responses to Heartbreak

    1. N.
      September 12, 2010 at 7:38 am

      Dear current fiancee.

      I’m so sorry that i can’t be as enthusiastic about our relationship that you are.
      I’ve just been hurt too many times and have lost all my trust in men. I’m sorry that I make you cry so often, it’s nothing to do with you, and it will take time.
      I’m sorry I can’t show my feelings better and I’m sorry I’m so cold towards you.

      I’m trying so hard to trust you. I just wish i could tell you all of this.

      I know your past and I can see that you’ve changed but I’m not ready to admit that just yet. I’ve been hurt so many times that I have started to hate when people ask me about my recent engagement with you. I’m scared I’ll end up a fool again. This isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry.

      Your future wife.

    2. Christy
      October 3, 2010 at 11:30 am

      So, this has definitely been my exact mentality right now.
      I thought I was reading a letter I wrote…

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