• To fear oneself is a horrific fate.

    by  • September 8, 2010 • Fear, Love - Pure and Simple, Regret, Sorry • 0 Comments

    You are absolutely amazing. You somehow always make me happy, and you may not know it, but you’re making me strive to become a better person.

    Going through the day, and remembering that when I get home I’ll be able to speak to you, the simple thought of it makes me smile.

    I like you, I really do. And I think that maybe you like me too!

    …but the thought of that scares me. The idea that maybe we could be something more than just friends terrifies me. You’re probably wondering why that would scare me. It should make me more excited and happy, but I’m so afraid of the thought.

    You’re such an awesome guy. You’ve never dated or kissed a girl, but you’re one of those guys that will be amazingly perfect in a relationship, and you’ll marry the first girl you kiss. She will be the one who you fall madly in love with. You will never hurt her, or even come close to it, and she will be the luckiest girl in the world.

    So, why then, am I terrified? Because of all of that. Because, I am a horrible girlfriend. I’m afraid to fall in love, I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt. Therefore, I keep enough distance, that I won’t get extremely hurt if anything happens. While doing this, I hurt the other person because they try to get closer, and I try to push them further away.

    I don’t want to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you.

    I’m so sorry. I apologize for being afraid of myself.

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