I feel like with every relationship I have gotten into, or every boy that I’ve talked to, they just like me for my body. Two out of three of my relationships we didn’t really talk, all we did was make-out, fool around. That’s how I got my last boyfriend to finally ask me out on a date, I started talking about sex and it felt like the next day we were dating.
A boy started texting me the other night after I went to this party. He started telling me how good I look, how I have a cute ass, how he wanted to kiss me [but he didn’t because we don’t really know each other, if that changes anything]. And so we’re supposed to hang out on Saturday. I want to kiss him, but that’s all. I want to maybe make this something big, not something that I’ll regret in a few weeks, which is what inevitably happens to me each time I hang out with a boy.
I don’t feel like boys like me for my personality. All they do is look at my somewhat decent look, and they see that I will flirt back with them, and so they take it I’m just a body.
I have a personality that is much deeper and complex than anyone’s that I know. And, I really just want some boy to notice that. I want to find someone to talk to me intellectually, that will have a heated debate with me about politics or religion, but in the end of the day we still care about each other.
But, what the heck is the chance of me finding that… I guess I’ll just go out with this boy on Saturday…